Conflict Rituals

  I notice that one of the conflict rituals I most actively engage in is one with my boyfriend.  We have been together for about two and half years and now live together.  This has created new conflict rituals for us because our lives are much different.  We do not have the alone time that we used to and do not have secrets.  We know everything about each other now and it was a huge step.

The most common conflict ritual that I find myself engaging in now is that I choose not to say anything when I am upset.  I can be a very crabby, emotional person (unfortunately) and I understand that this is how I am.  I am willing to change it, but there are some days that I just wake up crabby and there is nothing I can do to put myself in a better mood.  When I get in my "moods" or conflict arises between me and my boyfriend, I usually just stay quiet and do not say anything.  I don't say anything and then the conflict just swells inside of me and becomes worse and worse.  By the time he actually understands that I am upset, I am extremely upset and things becomes a lot worse.  If I would express myself in the beginning, then we could talk about the conflict right away and try to work things out.  This would make things a lot easier on our relationship and prevent negative feelings.  I know this is a conflict ritual that I should change.  My boyfriend is a very laid back, caring guy that is willing to do whatever it takes to make me happy.  If I would just tell him how I feel right away, then we could talk things out and make things better.