Identity Management

Identity management is something I think we all engage in whether we like it or not. We are all affected by the image we portray whether we say we don't care what other people think or not. I think I engage in identity management because I am willing to spend a lot of time getting ready in the morning or am willing to spend a lot of money on designer jeans. Our culture is so enfatuated with identity management it is slightly ridiculous, but I engage in it all the same.

I could go into Target and get cheap make-up and clothes. However, I choose to buy $100 Nike shoes and $150 Buckle jeans simply because of the logo. Some of the products I buy are higher quality, but not all of them. I am willing to spend a lot of money on uncomfortable stilletos, even though I will probably only wear them once. However, the image they portray is valued enough to me to spend that amount of money on them.

The same goes for logos. Although a shirt that I buy is expensive and impractical, I am willing to spend a lot of money on it. It might be the same exact shirt as one at Target, but because it has a Polo logo on it, people are willing to shell out an extra hundred dollars to own it. I notice this especially in my Dad. Granted he has the money to spend on it, it seems completely unneccessary to me to spend so much money on things when it could go to better use. This just demonstrates our cultures enfatuation with identity management and trying to portray an image of higher status.

Intercultural competence

This was an important issue in our text, and although we talked about it earlier in the semester I wanted to touch on it again. Intercultural competence is hard to attain because people share so many differences culturally. People have different norms, languages, and rules that they live by. Things are socially accepted differently in different cultures which makes being a competent communicator with someone say in India so difficult. We have a hard enought time communicating competently with people from our own culture that throwing in a whole different set or norms and ideas makes things even more difficult.

To help be a more competent communicator cross-culturally, we could be less judgemental. Although we are all going to judge people regardless because it is human nature, we can make points to not act on our judgements. By not taking our judgements to heart and treating everyone equally, we could make a difference in the way in which we all communicate cross-culturally. We also need to be open to new ideas. Just because an idea is different than what we are used to does not mean that we have to assume it is bad or wrong. By bashing another person's cultural beliefs, we could never fully competently communicate with them.

Stage Hogs

When I was reading about stage hogs in the text, it made me think of so many people I know. At Carbones sometimes when it is quiet, the servers are just standing around chatting. I feel like ninety nine percent of the time the conversation gets centered around one specific server that's standing there. She's always directing the conversation towards her and trying to be the center of attention. If I say something about myself, she will always try and say something related about herself. It gets really annoying an not many people enjoy talking with her because she is so annoying and dramatic. She has no compassion for anyone else and only wants to talk about herself.

I feel like I am a stage hog in some instances. Sometimes I want to talk about myself, so I will try and direct the conversation towards something about me or that happened to me. I often notice when I am "stage hogging" and will do something to stop it or ask someone else a question. I feel like I am being rude and inconsiderate and it is something I maybe need to work on. It is selfish and makes me a poor communicator.

Competent Communicators I know

I use to work at a bar/restaraunt in Apple Valley called Grizzly's. We had many day-to-day regulars, and as servers developed a close relationship with them. There is a woman named Linda who comes in regularly, and I believe she posesses the skills of a competent communicator. She is a middle school teacher and has a lot of compassion for the children she teaches. She is always very nice, and depending on who's she's talking to, she can carry a variety of possibly behaviors (adaptability). She always acts interested in my life and cares about me. She is always very fair and has the ability to lighten the mood by knowing just what to say at the right time. She is sort of Grizzlys' own little counselor and everyone loves her. She is able to get along with and communicate with all of the staff. Sometimes she doesn't even have to say a lot, but she is always a great listener. She knows just what to do and just what to say to get along with all of us. I think truely competenet communicators are hard to find. I always feel like people aren't really listening to me or intersted in the things that I have to say. I also feel like a lot of times people are stage hogs and try and get the conversation back to them so they can be the center of attention.

I also wanted to point out someone else that I do not have a personal relationship with, but who I can tell from media and interviews is a very competent communicator. I believe Barack Obama would be a very competent communictor. I have seen him communicate in interviews one on one and have read his book and he really cares about his family. He has great compassion and knowledge that I believe would make him a great person to communicate with.

My Interpersonal Communcation Group

I just wanted to reflect on my interpersonal communication discussion group a little bit. For the most part, my group was pretty helpful and good about deadlines. For the most part, we were getting our group postings in on time and meeting the deadlines. We got better about dicussing the questions as the semester went on. In the beginning of the semester, we would all just post one thought on the topic and be done with it. When we saw what this was doing to our grades, we all started to take a little more initiative and ask questions and respond. This increased our grade dramatically as well as gave us a better understanding of what was going on in the class.

Some of our group members, however, chose not to contribute at all. I'm not going to say any names, I'm sure everyone knows who I am talking about. I also wanted to thank Heidi Allen for all of her hard work in our group. She was always willing to post to the all-class discussion board and was also always willing to combine our group answers for our group paper. This was very helpful because we were all on different schedules and to have someone step up and sort of be the leader for our group was very helpful. She was also very intuitive and helpful to our group posts and kept the dicussion going.

End of the Semester!

I am so excited that this is the end of the semester. Although this post doesn't have a lot do with our class, I need to write it as this blog has become a place I share many things! I am pretty stressed out with school lately and noticed that I procrastinated slightly more than usual this semester. I usually procrastinate a lot, but like tonight I find myself sitting at work trying to get the last of my blog entries in before 11:59 P.M.! Way to go Kayla. This semester I was especially busy, however. I was working three jobs for a while. I was working nights at Carbones and Grizzly's as a server. I was serving seven nights a week, which is a lot in itself. This was a lot of work and I was always exhuasted. I was also working days from 9:00-4:00 at my Dad's trailer dealership four days a week. This was always hard after a long night of serving. And I was trying to find time for school full time! My life was completely hectic and I always found myself crying and trying to catch up because I was a straight A student and not going to let anything slow me down.

Now I am only working at Carbones and my dad's dealership. It's still four days a week and five nights a week, but it at least give me two nights a week off. I am a little less stressed and extremnely excited for summer to come so that I might have a little free time!

Certainty Vs. Provisionalism

I thought certainty vs. provisionalism was a very interesting concept addressed in the text. This was discussed when talking about Gibb's behaviors. Often times, I find people who are "certain" that they are always right. They are unwilling to back down and always think they are correct. It specifically reminds me of a girl I work with at Carbones. She is only a host and does not even serve, however, she feels she has the right to tell the servers what to do and even talks back to the managers occassionally. Honestly, I am surprised she even still has a job. She is always bad mouthing poeple and acting like she knows everything. This has many consequences for her at work. Not many people like her and nobody trusts her.

I believe I relate more closely with provisionalism. I usually think I am right, but am willing to admit when I am wrong. If someone comes up to me with an alternative theory or a better solution, I am willing to listen and give it a shot. I need my fair share of good evidence, however, and am not going to give them credit if their idea is bad. I think I am pretty open-minded and willing to accept people's ideas and change my own if their's are better.